I find it so wonderful, such a gift to our senses and spirit, to write (me reading) words that keep revealing just a few more sardines with every twist. Jacklyn, you are blessed.. and I’m the recipient of being blessed, to see a bit more into your soul with every posting.. and wonder.. just a bit.. are you speaking about me?
Thank you for comparing my insights to sardines haha!! I am blessed and privileged and lucky. I am grateful that you find yourself in my writing. This is the goal, really. Not to be the best, not to avoid failure, but to know that my reader finds themselves in my story. Somewhere. Everything we do matters. God uses it all.
I fell off my SUP this morning in front of a neighbour, so your words are timely. I had misjudged how deep the bottom was and remembered the spot as much shallower - which it was when I went there last... and winter is fast approaching in the southern hemisphere!
The feeling of not placing is completely identifiable. Thank you for writing about it. I have often thought about putting my work on a substack, but feel it would be another competitive distraction, where I too would yearn for recognition. Good on you for creating this spot of connection and community.
Welcome to my tiny but growing community. It's amazing how a part of us can convince all of us to avoid something because it might...(fill in the blanks). And, what I have been learning as I post semi-regularly, is that I must get my artful storytelling and sharing out there, out beyond me. To a safe community. This is a safe space and I love it here.
Annie Dillard says “One of the things I know about writing is this: spend it all, shoot it, play it, lose it, all, right away, every time. Do not hoard what seems good for a later place in the book or for another book; give it, give it all, give it now. The impulse to save something good for a better place later is the signal to spend it now. Something more will arise for later, something better. These things fill from behind, from beneath, like well water."
I love this because it reminds me to stop waiting for the right time. The time is now.
I hope you take the plunge, let me know when you do and I will endeavour to do my best to support you in that.
Great piece you wrote on the topic of the secret hope to be recognized! And yes, sometimes our egos get in the way, but it’s also a legitimate human need to be noticed, to be validated. Keep writing, Jaclyn! So much learning along the way for you, and your readers are blessed when your well crafted stories resonate with them!
Thank you for being open about trying something and failing. We have all been there, probably many times throughout our lives. But, when you do finally succeed,,, Wow, it feels amazing. And quite the achievement. You feel proud of yourself for persevering and working hard towards that goal and realise when you finally reach that goal, it was well worth it.
Now, I have been in a spot where you do a 'test' and it is basically a "gimmee". It really doesn't make you feel good at all. There was no fight or passion or tears reaching that goal. It was nothing, and nothing to boast about. That is why it is so important to have goals that you have to work at, fail at and finally achieve. Wonderful feeling
I can definitely see the point in the "gimme" analogy. I think I have been privileged in many ways, from getting straight A's (except in gym class lol) to being able to hear a song and play the music on the piano, right away. Why should everything be easy? It makes the success so much more worth it when there is some work involved.
One of my closest friends lost her mom recently. She came up to the cottage this summer and we did our own version of Olympics on the paddle boards. We gave each other yoga poses, and jumps, and twists that were destined to make us fail and fall so hard…and we did - almost every single time. One of my boobs fell out of my suit, we both took so much water up our noses, she tumble rolled right off head first….and we LAUGHED. God we laughed SO HARD. And she said later that this was the first time she felt joy since losing her mom. She and I specifically set ourselves up to fail to remind each other to not take it all so serious. And this has become one of the most cherished stories I hold.
We underestimate and FEAR failure (I know I can/do) - but what power there is in it. Our own failings, our sharing of them with others - it’s beautiful and it is worth remembering.
Creatively speaking - failure is scary...vulnerable. Failure is also a moving target. Failure compared to what? Didn't get published - Fail? Or super success we submitted?? (arguably the hardest part!)
Maybe we should argue our 'failing' selves ARE (woven into) our best parts…such a shame a main narrative and baseline is ranking and comparison.
There is so much here to comment on Jac - but what I will say, short and sweet, is you’re doing such good work; such hard deep work. Ive witnessed the excavation, the devotion. And who am I to say what I just said? What right do I have? Except, I am a writer, too, who writes with you, and others (like Barry and Vicki [oh what treats!], and we are all exceptional and we all have very important stories to tell and lessons to share. And to your theme - in and of itself, this feels hard and gross and self serving to say - to put myself in the ‘good writer' category with you and the aforementioned and more - by why not? We are all so good and rich and talented…own it, right - ‘failures’ and all <3
We have to practice knowing our worth in these spaces where so often it is aimlessly taken away so subjectively. And sharing 'failures’ makes these spaces all the more safe, 'normalized', rich, and encouraging to keep doing the work, even when it’s hard - maybe especially when it’s hard.
Love you, bud. Thank you for creating spaces - you’re doing it!
Yes, I love the argument that our 'failing' selves are woven into our best parts. Thank you for your insight, as always. Thank you for the standing beside and aside so that we can help each grow into the writers that we want to be. And for encouraging the vulnerability, as always, since the beginning of knowing you. I am grateful for you.
This piece hits home. I have wondered over the years if all artists have similar feelings…and Rick Rubin’s comment makes me think they do. The musicians, dancers, painters and perhaps the fine carpentry artists as well as others. Ahh the pressure we put on our frail selves.
I just started a new, in person group this week. A memoir specific group for the seniors centre. Most of the people in the group are worried about their performance, all except one woman. She has never thought about writing before, not until her grandson, now 15, asked her earnestly to write down her life for him. She was tickled by his interest. She says he used to cuddle into her lap as a wee on and ask for the stories of her childhood in Scotland. Her biggest worry was that she wouldn’t remember them all, but as you say, the AWA method had her finding memories she hadn’t remembered within her first two prompts. Her writing is pure and simple. She has no ego around it. She has an audience in mind, him. She suspects she will write it down and be done.
The process is beautiful. For this time in her life, she is a writer. Her story will expand through the prompted writing, to include memories she had forgotten. I will encourage her but her goal is to write for him, put her story into his eager hands. She will enjoy the whole thing and maybe catch a spark and, wanting to continue, but is it about that? Probably not and it is a real thrill to be a part of this.
And for the rest of us, we just need to remember to just do it, for ourselves being the best we can. Thanks so much for the reminder Jaclyn
Wow, Vicki, this is so incredible. Thank you. What great and incredible work you are doing as a writer/mentor/coach, and friend. I am loving our Thursday write sessions, as always. When one ends, I look forward to the next. Thank you for the reminder of who our audience ought to be. For me, these words are for my daughter, so that when I am not around, she will have pieces of me scattered about.
I'm thrilled to be writing with you and connecting on Substack. Keep up the great writing!
Thank you Sandy! I look forward to reading your posts as well, see you next week:)
I find it so wonderful, such a gift to our senses and spirit, to write (me reading) words that keep revealing just a few more sardines with every twist. Jacklyn, you are blessed.. and I’m the recipient of being blessed, to see a bit more into your soul with every posting.. and wonder.. just a bit.. are you speaking about me?
Thank you for comparing my insights to sardines haha!! I am blessed and privileged and lucky. I am grateful that you find yourself in my writing. This is the goal, really. Not to be the best, not to avoid failure, but to know that my reader finds themselves in my story. Somewhere. Everything we do matters. God uses it all.
I fell off my SUP this morning in front of a neighbour, so your words are timely. I had misjudged how deep the bottom was and remembered the spot as much shallower - which it was when I went there last... and winter is fast approaching in the southern hemisphere!
The feeling of not placing is completely identifiable. Thank you for writing about it. I have often thought about putting my work on a substack, but feel it would be another competitive distraction, where I too would yearn for recognition. Good on you for creating this spot of connection and community.
Welcome to my tiny but growing community. It's amazing how a part of us can convince all of us to avoid something because it might...(fill in the blanks). And, what I have been learning as I post semi-regularly, is that I must get my artful storytelling and sharing out there, out beyond me. To a safe community. This is a safe space and I love it here.
Annie Dillard says “One of the things I know about writing is this: spend it all, shoot it, play it, lose it, all, right away, every time. Do not hoard what seems good for a later place in the book or for another book; give it, give it all, give it now. The impulse to save something good for a better place later is the signal to spend it now. Something more will arise for later, something better. These things fill from behind, from beneath, like well water."
I love this because it reminds me to stop waiting for the right time. The time is now.
I hope you take the plunge, let me know when you do and I will endeavour to do my best to support you in that.
Great piece you wrote on the topic of the secret hope to be recognized! And yes, sometimes our egos get in the way, but it’s also a legitimate human need to be noticed, to be validated. Keep writing, Jaclyn! So much learning along the way for you, and your readers are blessed when your well crafted stories resonate with them!
Thank you for being open about trying something and failing. We have all been there, probably many times throughout our lives. But, when you do finally succeed,,, Wow, it feels amazing. And quite the achievement. You feel proud of yourself for persevering and working hard towards that goal and realise when you finally reach that goal, it was well worth it.
Now, I have been in a spot where you do a 'test' and it is basically a "gimmee". It really doesn't make you feel good at all. There was no fight or passion or tears reaching that goal. It was nothing, and nothing to boast about. That is why it is so important to have goals that you have to work at, fail at and finally achieve. Wonderful feeling
I can definitely see the point in the "gimme" analogy. I think I have been privileged in many ways, from getting straight A's (except in gym class lol) to being able to hear a song and play the music on the piano, right away. Why should everything be easy? It makes the success so much more worth it when there is some work involved.
One of my closest friends lost her mom recently. She came up to the cottage this summer and we did our own version of Olympics on the paddle boards. We gave each other yoga poses, and jumps, and twists that were destined to make us fail and fall so hard…and we did - almost every single time. One of my boobs fell out of my suit, we both took so much water up our noses, she tumble rolled right off head first….and we LAUGHED. God we laughed SO HARD. And she said later that this was the first time she felt joy since losing her mom. She and I specifically set ourselves up to fail to remind each other to not take it all so serious. And this has become one of the most cherished stories I hold.
We underestimate and FEAR failure (I know I can/do) - but what power there is in it. Our own failings, our sharing of them with others - it’s beautiful and it is worth remembering.
Creatively speaking - failure is scary...vulnerable. Failure is also a moving target. Failure compared to what? Didn't get published - Fail? Or super success we submitted?? (arguably the hardest part!)
Maybe we should argue our 'failing' selves ARE (woven into) our best parts…such a shame a main narrative and baseline is ranking and comparison.
There is so much here to comment on Jac - but what I will say, short and sweet, is you’re doing such good work; such hard deep work. Ive witnessed the excavation, the devotion. And who am I to say what I just said? What right do I have? Except, I am a writer, too, who writes with you, and others (like Barry and Vicki [oh what treats!], and we are all exceptional and we all have very important stories to tell and lessons to share. And to your theme - in and of itself, this feels hard and gross and self serving to say - to put myself in the ‘good writer' category with you and the aforementioned and more - by why not? We are all so good and rich and talented…own it, right - ‘failures’ and all <3
We have to practice knowing our worth in these spaces where so often it is aimlessly taken away so subjectively. And sharing 'failures’ makes these spaces all the more safe, 'normalized', rich, and encouraging to keep doing the work, even when it’s hard - maybe especially when it’s hard.
Love you, bud. Thank you for creating spaces - you’re doing it!
Yes, I love the argument that our 'failing' selves are woven into our best parts. Thank you for your insight, as always. Thank you for the standing beside and aside so that we can help each grow into the writers that we want to be. And for encouraging the vulnerability, as always, since the beginning of knowing you. I am grateful for you.
This piece hits home. I have wondered over the years if all artists have similar feelings…and Rick Rubin’s comment makes me think they do. The musicians, dancers, painters and perhaps the fine carpentry artists as well as others. Ahh the pressure we put on our frail selves.
I just started a new, in person group this week. A memoir specific group for the seniors centre. Most of the people in the group are worried about their performance, all except one woman. She has never thought about writing before, not until her grandson, now 15, asked her earnestly to write down her life for him. She was tickled by his interest. She says he used to cuddle into her lap as a wee on and ask for the stories of her childhood in Scotland. Her biggest worry was that she wouldn’t remember them all, but as you say, the AWA method had her finding memories she hadn’t remembered within her first two prompts. Her writing is pure and simple. She has no ego around it. She has an audience in mind, him. She suspects she will write it down and be done.
The process is beautiful. For this time in her life, she is a writer. Her story will expand through the prompted writing, to include memories she had forgotten. I will encourage her but her goal is to write for him, put her story into his eager hands. She will enjoy the whole thing and maybe catch a spark and, wanting to continue, but is it about that? Probably not and it is a real thrill to be a part of this.
And for the rest of us, we just need to remember to just do it, for ourselves being the best we can. Thanks so much for the reminder Jaclyn
Wow, Vicki, this is so incredible. Thank you. What great and incredible work you are doing as a writer/mentor/coach, and friend. I am loving our Thursday write sessions, as always. When one ends, I look forward to the next. Thank you for the reminder of who our audience ought to be. For me, these words are for my daughter, so that when I am not around, she will have pieces of me scattered about.
Oh Vicki - all this sounds so beautiful <3
Yes, indeed it does. Thank you for connecting me to Vicki!! I owe a lot of my growth to meeting you, my beautiful friend.